Wise Words from Norma Cappiello Carr

A Message from Norma: What my 97 years have taught me.

Norma and [her daughter] Chrissy talked about writing down advice she would have for us for several years. She has a hard time writing down her thoughts. So Chrissy just listened to her and decided one day to pull out her computer and start writing it down. Their goal was to have it done by her 97th birthday. This video documents her thoughts, advice and more importantly her love for us all. July 3, 2020 by [grandson] Hans Nelson

Transcript:

Today is July 3rd 2020 and today is my 97th birthday. If you were to ask me advice on how to live long and healthy, I would say it’s just luck that I am healthy and that I have lived this long, but I know it’s more than luck. God has blessed me to have been surrounded by people who have loved me my whole life from my parents, my siblings and my children and now my grandchildren. I think that holds the key reason to why I have been able to be positive and enjoy all my years.

What my 97 years has taught me that I wish to pass on to you: don’t let age define you. I’ve never used the words “I’m too old for that.” You are never too old to start a new hobby or project or start exercising. I never really enjoyed exercising until I was older, well, until I broke my hip last year. Exercise became important to me for my physical health and my mental health. I was determined to walk down that aisle and to dance in Annie’s wedding. And I did.

Be helpful in any way that you can. Look for ways you can impact your family your community and your church. It may be big or little. Personally I do the prayer calls for my church. In the past I was able to do much more but I realize now that I can still make a difference. I was a surgical nurse and my job was to assist the surgeon. [Daughter] Chrissy often comments that I still play that role in any way I can, many times assisting her with various projects by standing right by her and handing her anything she needs.

My mother taught me that there are two activities you can do every day that will make your day go by better. Always make your bed in the morning and never leave the kitchen dirty at night.

Be open to new adventures your entire life. I learned to swim, ride a bike, drive a car well into my adulthood. [Our friends] The Schultz’s taught me how to swim and [husband] Wayne taught me how to drive when we were dating. And the kids and Wayne taught me how to ride a bike. I never really mastered riding the bike without training wheels but then that didn’t really matter much to me.

I moved from Auburn and New York City and Chicago to the small town of Miller when I was 36 years old and then out to the farm when I was 65 years old. Each move was a transition or an adventure that brought me wonderful experiences.

Always find a purpose. It may be big or it may be small and it will vary over time. Search, find, and pursue your purpose. Have hobbies. I love music, listening to it, dancing to it, and talking about it. I enjoy watching old movies and discussing the actors and actresses with [daughter] Debbie who shares my passion. Playing cards, especially bridge, which we have played for over 60 years has brought me through friendships that I would have never had without that weekly game. Bridge also helped my mind be stimulated.

I love to read even at my age now. The books I read take me on adventures and continue to teach me new thoughts and new ideas. Reading has been a companion to me my whole life but over the last several years I realized what a treasure being able to read and enjoy reading has brought to my life.

Send a card. People including myself love to give a handwritten card. It is a dying art so don’t let that go by the wayside. Send a card to a friend, a family member, a stranger, the clerk at the store. You never know what a single thoughtful act of writing a card can do for someone. And always, always send a thank you note.

Pick your friends wisely for they will become your peers and your peers have a tremendous influence on you at any age. Have friends of all ages. I have older friends and I have much younger friends. Both have been a huge blessing to me.

Entertain in your home. [Daughter] Chris has told me that I have the gift of hospitality. In our house, we have entertained family friends and even strangers that later became friends. I loved having the kids’ friends at our house at Miller. So many great memories and friendships happen because we had people over.

Find a place of worship. Stay close to God and pray always. If you start to lose faith, work hard at mending it back together. Start reading the Bible. Attend church weekly. Say the Rosary. Do whatever it takes to stay close to God. Many things in this world cannot be explained and I just don’t understand the reasons behind the tragedies our family and many others have endured, but I know that God has given me the strength to continue to wake up in the morning determined to do my part in the world. My faith and my God have never left me nor forsaken me and I have worked hard at making sure that faith grows.

My Catholic faith is very dear to me. I was taught by the nuns and Mass was something I attended all my life. I love receiving the body of Christ at Communion and I enjoy singing in the choir. I say the Rosary every day. I love how it is devoted to Mary and it makes me think of all the things that happen while Jesus walked on this earth. We often forget all those things. The rosary brings me closer to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Live a clean life away from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. It will save your from unneeded struggles and heartaches.

I have lived a wonderful life. I continue to feel the presence of [husband] Wayne all around me daily and especially when I watch my three sons, each one of them have different traits of Wayne that I love. I have family and friends who love me. I am very proud of my Italian heritage and I hope that you always remember that part of who you are and are proud of it as well. My hardest trials have been the passing of [grandson] Beau and [granddaughter] Nikki and watching my son and daughter deal with such heartaches. I continue to look forward to what the rest of my life will bring, and I also look forward to a new life in heaven someday reunion with all those that I miss and cherish. I love you and I hope you always hold each other close.

Leave a Reply