ANNETTE ELENA PATERNO
Born: August 30, 1934
married
Edward F. Murphy
January 10, 1953
St. Rose of Lima Church
New York, NY
Children:
Edward Francis born October 27, 1954
Joanne Lee born January 22, 1956 deceased December 1, 1980
Theresa Anne born December 9, 1959
Mary Frances born June 16, 1961
Patrick Michael born June 26, 1962
ANNETTE ELENA
I was the third daughter and Mom said that Dad was disappointed as he was hoping for a boy. He recovered quickly and I remember only his love and attention. I recall riding “cowboy” while he bounced around the floor on his hand and knees laying ‘horsey’ for me. He must have been exhausted after one of those episodes!
Around he age of 4-5, after a strep infection, I seemed to catch any of the ‘bugs’ that went around. It was either an earache, sore throat, or cough, and it took its toll. I was very thin, felt awkward, and very ugly. It didn’t help to overhear one of the relatives mentioning to Mom that all her children were beautiful, but “what happened to Annette?” Before long an inferiority complex took over that was so deep-seated that it lasted into the first years of my married life. I couldn’t talk to people without becoming self-conscious and nervous and it was difficult making friends. I can remember having no friends for several years from about 5 to 8 – I thought no one wanted to play with me because I was ugly. When I did make friends, there were very few and I chose them carefully. Even Charl and Lisa would tease and call me the ugly duckling. Of course, they didn’t mean it and didn’t know that I took it seriously. Then Mom would say, “Don’t worry, she’ll grow up to be the prettiest of them all!” (What a wise woman…)
Mom was my best friend until I was old enough to consider Lisa as my confidante and idol. As I grew into my teen years, lost the gangly look, and had my woolly hair cut short, the kids in the neighborhood and school started talking to me. I was amazed that appearances made such a difference – when a day before the haircut a person ignored me, the next, they’d stop and talk.
My teen years were happy with a good group of friends, basketball every day, dances held at different parishes, and a part time job at Woolworth’s. With the money I paid part of my school tuition and made small purchases. Charlotte and Lee were my friends, but mostly just older sisters who loved being mischievous. I found myself the butt of many jokes, one of which was convincing me to drink the last of the hot chocolate rather than waste it – and it was chocolate colored dish water! I always said that some day I’d pull a great joke to get even, but nothing seemed to materialize.
(Photo of Edward (Skip), Joanne, Theresa, Mary & Patrick/Edward & Annette April 1973)
Lisa was married when I was twelve and I was deeply impressed with the white gown, the ceremony, and the reception. I decided that my special day would be just as memorable and right then and there asked Lisa to be my matron-of-honor.
I met Ed in October 1951, soon realized he was to be my ‘one and only,’ and we became engaged in June 1952. That summer, Charl & Joe, Lee & Frank and two other couples rented cottages (and I se the term loosely) in Rockaway Beach. We were invited to come out for the weekend, so I bought a plain band in Woolworth’s, put it on a chain around my neck and went off for a weekend at the beach. Prior to leaving thought, we cautioned Mom not to give our joke away. All evening I would casually check to see if the ring were visible for Lee to see…BUT…she never noticed it. By the time we were getting ready for bed, I had forgotten about it and it was then she saw the ring and asked about it. I said, “Oh it’s just something I bought in the 5 & 10.” Needless to say, she didn’t believe me, was absolutely furious thinking we had eloped, and said we shouldn’t expect a wedding gift! It was a real ‘gotcha’ and we had quite a time convincing her it was only a joke, especially with Joe chiming in every now and then with, “Why don’t you just tell her the truth and she’ll get over it.” Besides, if she didn’t believe us, we told her to call Mom for verification. Mom did what we asked – acted surprised AND even pretended to be angry. We spent the rest of the next day doing some fast talking.
Our wedding was a beautiful one, and Lee was our Matron-of-Honor, with Charlotte as bridesmaid, Thom, Joe and Frank as ushers, and Bobby, the alter boy. It is a day we will always remember (and that’s why we wanted our children’s wedding days to be so special too.)
Army life brought us to Ludwigsburg and Weisbaden, Germany; Limestone and Brunswick, Main; Tacoma, Washington; and Albany and Schenectady, New York. We bought our first home in Schenectady because we couldn’t find an apartment in the Albany/Schenectady area large enough for us, nor one we could afford. We found our neighborhood to be exceptional – good school system, great parish, and especially terrific neighbors! We couldn’t believe our good fortune!
Our first born arrived in October 1954 and by June 1962 we were blessed with two boys and three girls. The first two were born in Germany; the last three in Brunswick, Maine.
Each child is special in his or her own way and we couldn’t have asked for better. Terry (3-4) talked to grogs and grasshoppers and when she told them to stay in a particular place while she took a nap, walk or whatever, for some reason they did so….As she got older she had a terrible time with mechanical things like refrigerators, air conditioners and cars. She has a special ability to be able to talk with people, make many friends and touch, so may lives. Joanne was the artistic one – had a lovely singing voice, drew pictures, enjoyed crafts and did beautiful embroidery. Skip was macho-man of the house – loved all sports but especially football. He was a very good fisherman at an early age and men marveled at his patience and ability to sit still for a long period of time. Being the youngest, Pat took advantage of the others by pretending to need ‘help’ getting dressed or later with his chores. His sweet angelic looks got him everything he asked for and we had quite a time convincing the others to let him be self sufficient. As he got older, he seemed to be the most serious of the children and even put himself thought college. Bright and bouncey Mary loved dressing up to prance around the house or outdoor (at 2/3 she loved prancing around without the clothes!) She chose friends carefully, but make them for life.
They are the best children parents could ask for. They have frown into considerate and thoughtful adults and include us in their special days of their lives. Joanne’s death at such a young age brought us even closer but fortunately our memories recall the good times we had when they were all growing up.
I love my family ad thank the good Lord over and over for all his blessings. After Patrick started school, I went back to the office and started a career as a secretary. My effos were rewarded by recommendations and promotions to better paying jobs and I have enjoyed it immesely.
My best friend had a successful career in the Army (22 years), went into banking for the next 16 years, and I have no doubt that he will do very well in our new adventure in Florida.
6/27/86
